Froggisms

Travelling back on the Eurostar tonight I called Frog to tell him I'd managed to catch an earlier train than planned and a gave a quick rundown of my day's events. His response to my whinge was "make sure you get a nap on the train because otherwise you'll arrive home very nervous". Of course he didn't mean 'nervous' but 'grumpy old cow'. And it's not that he was being particularly sensitive, he had chosen slightly the wrong word.

The thing is his English is so good that I really notice when he makes a froggy slip. But I love the froggisms - they always lead to laughing together and some of them now are just habit and delivered with a knowing smirk.

So here are three of my other favourites (since mum is an avid reader not all are listed here due to an attempt to preserve her/my modesty):

• Screaming Ducks
  One weekend in the summer house I was awoken very early in the morning by the frog stomping to the window and slamming it shut. "What on earth are you doing" I muttered. "The duck is screaming and woke me up." The screaming duck never returned to the house but the legacy is that ducks will never again quack in our household - they are forever stuck screaming. Mallard meets Munch.
  
• Palms of my feet
  Of course it's logical - if your feet are hurting after being dragged around the shops, it means the palms of your feet are sore. Makes me think of monkeys for some reason.
  
• Tainted hair
  I have never tried to hide the fact that I'm not a natural blonde. (Although since I haven't been near a hairdresser in a while I seem to be reverting to the mousy brown of yore.). However, I and many others are referred to by the frog as having "tainted" hair. Which seems quite fitting really, especially when it is delivered in a disdainful voice.

I recently learnt that an extended member of my (English) family is upset that I refer to the love of my life as the "frog" in the blog. I think it's felt to be offensive. I hope no other frogs are offended. This one loves it and even prior to the days that blogs existed called himself that. And we know how the fairy tale ends when the princess kisses the frog...

Ribbit